Posting words of sympathy from our friend Ann Linger: "For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one."

"For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?"

The Prophet , Kahlil Gibran

Bigger than life itself.

To read the stories of childhood friends on this blog is like viewing an old home movie of the Seeth brothers and their buddies sharing magical times, growing up on the water. Didn't know Don was a surfer dude (!) — or of all his excursions to exotic places around the world — wow, it sure looks like he made the most of his 52 years. His soul truly shines out from all these memories and photos. The Don I last saw had a full head of hair, an athlete's body tall and strong, flashing his trademark grin. A big man with a bigger heart. To Betty, Randy, Missy, and the Seeth family and friends, my thoughts are with you.

To a Mariner's passing

William Penn words, combined with a Walt Whitman line:

"Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas . . ."

"Missing me one place search another, I stop somewhere waiting for you."

Ma Kirk's Fishing Station

Back in the day, Ma Kirk's in South Jamesport was one of the best kept secrets on the North Fork as far as Hi-brow, Hi-end drinking establishments go. We succeeded in keeping it hidden from the Hamton-ites, which to this day has helped to maintain the charm of the area. I believe Don was 14 when we started patronizing the place. Now, Ma's eyesight wasn't too keen, so the strategy was to have big, tall, Don go in first and greet her with that already-low, authoritative voice, while the rest of us snuck in behind him and fanned out like the ground troops behind a tank, and grab a pool stick or something, to look like we'd already been pre-screened and been there awhile. This usually worked. It was either that, or Ma just went by average height for the group, and Don was tall enough to make up for the rest of us. 25-cent drafts, till 4AM. Those were the days. "Herethz your beerthz Boythz. OK, Thankth."

First of all, to Doug, Paul, Randy, Missy and all family members, Chris and I are so sorry for your loss. Donnie was the best. At 6'4" he was a big guy. But what was bigger was his smile. Whenever you saw him, it was that way. I'll tell a little story here about Donnie that i will never forget, although i might have forgot a few of the details, it was Forty years ago. I don't think we had drivers licenses yet, so we had to find a way to get to the surf. The Seeths had this 13' or 14' little fiberglass dory with a couple of bench seats and an engine. I think it was affectionately call "the pot" someone correct me if i'm wrong. So Donnie and I, i can't remember if anyone else was with us, take off for Flies. Hell i can't even remember is there was any surf. But i remember on leaving Flies we ran into a wall of fog. Not being much of a boater at that time i was more than a little nervous about this. Didn't phase Donnie at all. I think we came ashore in Shinnecock bay once then before i knew it the fog lifted and we were in the canal headed for the locks. The boy was just a born captain. God bless you Donnie you're Captaining the big ship now. love, tom and chris

Donnie..... I remember one of the first times I met Don was at a fire on the beach down from the Sinnotts house. Up the beach from the house and just by the inlet to South Jamesport Marina.We were sitting around the fire when a giant figure appeared in the shadows walking toward the fire. As he drew closer a towering figure with the ball cap and the lukewarm six pack under his arm(it amazes me the lack of the use of a cooler we employed for years). As I sat on the sand he looked about 7 feet tall. Jeff did proper introductions and he put out this mitt of a hand for me to shake. Don sat next to me and started a conversation as if I had been his lifelong friend. Don always made me feel that way whenever we would see each other. More memories are starting to appear in my old head and all are of a big caring lug who I will miss dearly. Mike O'Regan

We were able to view the blog site from Doug's house using an old style dial up connection. It was so nice to be able to cry in the comfort of our own home. All the postings are so touching and really capture what Don was all about. Now that we know how to "blog" will use this to let you all know about the timing of the ashes scattering at "3's" once we have figured it out. Love, Doug and Paul from Mattituck

Pictures from Stuart.

On the puddlejumper to the Abacos...

Another Capt. Don story......... as I been thinking about Don the last few days I'm recalling a few different " firsts". The first time I ever heard the Allman Brothers Band, Donny says "Hey ya gotta check these guys out " Thanks for that one Don . They became one of my all time favorites. Another first was my first ocean sailing delivery. Don and I took this 40ft. sloop from Conneticut to Florida. What a ride ! The first day and night, perfect, reaching down the Jersey coast, lovin it. So after a long watch on the wheel ( just two of us, no autopilot) I retire below that night, pretty beat. I wake up at first light and cannot believe my eyes. I lookout from below and there is Don, firm grasp on the helm, with the biggest waves I'd ever seen in my life rising up behind him. Mountain sized and he was surfing this boat down them and havin a ball. I think my first reaction was " Holy....... Donny". With a big grin on his face he says " We got ourselves a sleighride Robbie" . We took turns the rest of that day surfing that boat around Cape Hatteras. I'd never experienced anything like it and I remember being so confident and comfortable cause of Don's presence and abilities. Awsome! Thanks for that one too Don. Rob Gannon

More pics from Jane's memoriam...

I’m not exactly sure how many years ago it was that Dootze gave me the name, Frootz...? All I recall was that it occurred in Legend’s probably on a Wednesday evening after another one of our frantic, Frank-the-crank, non-winning, but fabulous sails around Robin’s Island. Moose was there and he and Dootze decided I should be called Frootz...Moose, Dootze, and Frootz. The name stuck and I’ve worn it proudly ever since. Reading these great blogs brings back a flood of memories all of which recall wonderful times spend together. Sailing the waters of the Peconic, shooting pool at Bonnie’s, all the Fischer’s parties, the OCYC parties, ping pong in the Harrington pool house, weekend night’s at the Cinnamon Tree, closing time at the Broken Down Valise, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Yankee Stadium, the Nightmare... the Sea Dream, and many many more. I guess my most vivid memory is the time we spend on Elbow Cay for the week of Michael’s and Bindu’s wedding. Sailing around the blue Bahama waters, racing the golf carts home from town... And thanks to Jake’s expert driving, scary but true, we usually won. The wedding reception and Dootze and Frootz toast to Michael (Moose) and Bindu. Then, of course, having to sleep on the boat which was way too hot. Dootze and I decided the hammock area of the front deck would be most comfortable however, it was still way too hot. Without a breath of air, we took the oscillating fan out onto the deck, figured out a way to run an extension cord, and finally slept to the breeze of the fan in the open mid-night air. Only to be woken up by the predictable 3AM rains and the 5AM crowing of the rooster next door. A quick morning swim and we were ready to go again... What a week. The flight home was pretty funny too and Missy had to deal with our detained visit coming back through customs. Not our fault... The pilots were a bit off schedule. Anyway, that was a wonderful time spent together as were all our yearly gatherings.... Times I will sorely miss. Joanne too absolutely adored Dootze. She thought the world of him and immediately picked out all his impeccable qualities. She would always tell me what a gentleman Dootze is and how his relaxed, calm, and secure nature was very reassuring to her... Especially while sailing. On Monday afternoon we spent hours reminiscing.... Dootze, we miss you dearly. -Frank Strakosch fstrakosch@yahoo.com

After several tries have finally figured out how to get on this blog. Am sitting at the Mattituck public library in tears at all your beautiful memories of Don. No internet access at Doug's house so will have to bring him up here to view it (2 blubbering old guys). Don was very lucky to have great friends like you in his life !!! Tried to attach Don's obituary being published in Suffolk Times next week (don't think it worked). Lesley is arriving this weekend (this old dude needs some tech assistance). Heading out on the bay for a clamming session now (will be a sad occasion without Don along).

Man hugs were probably out of vogue for a couple of decades, but long about the turn of the century, Don decided that they were OK. Now, after not seeing this guy for a year or two, all of a sudden he's coming at you and blocking out everything else in your line of sight, and you start wondering what in the hell you are in store for. And after this brief period of engulfment, there was no doubt in your mind..."I just been Man-hugged". After that first time, it just became part of "coming home".

And yet another example... In my early teen years I readily accepted the fact that to most of my brother Jeff's guy friends, I did not exist. There would always be that awkward moment of passing one of his buddies in the hall of Wheatley High where they would not even meet my glance let alone dare to acknowledge the younger sister. Then I would see Don approaching and know that I would get a wave or a nod with that special grin of his. Even to the younger sister who was years away from being cool, Don was the real deal. Leslie Sinnott

Just another example of the kind of guy he was...... Don and I were doing a multi-boat sailing charter from Fort lauderdale to Bimini in the Bahamas. You would leave at night so you could arrive in the morning light. Well, the wind was light so the boats were motoring, I think there were four boats, suddenly my boats engine starts to overheat. So I have to cut the engine and drift in the middle of the gulf stream at night with a novice crew and figure out my problem. Now Don who was probably a 1/4 mile ahead of me, could have been in his own world and just disappeared into the night, but no. Within minutes, as he saw my lights fading further behind, I get a call on the VHF radio, Its Don, wondering how I'm doing and if everythings O.K . He stopped his boat and waited while I got my situation straightened out. That's the kind of guy he was. Rob Gannon

Another story which just happens to be Stu, Don, and me. Of course, we three were neighbors in East Williston, and all shared the joy of our summers out east, so there were lots of times like these that span almost 50 years: I got the Super-8 camera thing going as a hobby for surf and general horse-around movies when we were all about sixteen. I'd take it to the beach all the time, and get some cool surf movies if there was someone willing to man the camera when the surf was up. Many of the trips were, "By Sea", loading boards, cameras, girls, and sandwiches aboard the Pequod, or the Last Fling, or whatever someone's Dad's boat's name was at the time. So passing through Shinnecock Canal on the way to the beach, with camera, led to the inevitable group leap off the Shinnecock Bridge. We set the camera on slow-mo, gave it to one of the girls or the sandwiches, and Stu, Don and I scrambled up there for the shot. Now, this was Stu's first time, so his step off the rail was a total attempt to get as close to the water as possible before the freefall, arms clamped to his sides, and you could see his eyes squeezed shut from 40 yards away. I might have jumped a little, just so I wouldn't hit my head on the rail, but I sure wasn't looking for any extra distance. But Don does this leap, with his full wing-span, like he wanted to get his head above the guy wires before he started his descent, and maybe jump out far enough so he could touch the other bridge before having to eventually come down and hit the water. The shot was hysterical, like it almost wasn't possible for so much time to elapse between Stu and me hitting the water, and Don eventually coming in for a landing, when we all took off at the same time. The guy really could fly.

The first time I got to know Donny was in the weeds by Sigsbee Road, a party spot. He was so big yet so nice and friendly and he looked you right in the eye. Later I would go to the beach with Don and Jeff and Mike And Rob and Don had this strong, chest up profile while surfing that was unique. Later we both moved to Florida. I would see him occasionally when I had conferences in Ft. Lauderdale. I always asked him to come up and visit my house, (the surf is better up here), but he never took me up on it. Then, when my house was wrecked in the hurricanes of 2004 he came up about 5 times to help clean up and rebuild. He did have a big heart and an amazing sense of what was right and wrong. Example.... In the mid /late eighties I was in Ft. L and Don was finishing a captain job on a head boat. I think it was Randy's gig and Don was filling in. I'm waiting for him on the dock and a young couple, who were on the boat and caught some Bonita were leaving. They had no idea what to do with the fish. Don fillet them and sent them off. I said to him, "man, they didn't tip you or anything for that." Don just said " ah, they don't have much money, I know how to clean fish, and it made their trip complete." Typical Don. Cut through the BS and do what is best. Last time I saw Donny was at his Mom's wake. We didn't talk much because we figured we get together in Fl. soon. Missy, my heart goes out to ya. Danny Fleming

While I knew Don these dozen plus years, he had wonderful dreams of flying where he could do anything and fly anywhere. He could do hoops and fly up to the heavens and into the ocean and even around the house......at "lightning speed". When we went to sleep at night he always said, "Where are we going to go flying tonight?" "Bimini, Hawaii..........?" When he started slipping into a coma Saturday morning, among other things, I whispered "go flying" . I am certain he visited everybody he knows and loves so dearly all day regardless of whether he heard me or not. Those were his favorite dreams and I know that is what is what he was doing, visiting everybody he loves so dearly. He has the biggest most beautiful heart and soul. He has the most brillant wings. God Bless, Missy

I'm stealing these photos from Stuart's inventory since he's not near his c-drive, I hope they're not copyrighted... Don and I standing on our lanai, looking straight out at 12-foot macking Sunset surf on our Hawaii Five-O trip. Stu captioned this one something like, "If it gets any bigger, maybe we should go out". It was insane...then we went out. In the wave shot, Don's right in the center in the black t-shirt if you can make out the details, I'm slightly ahead of him with the white dome. This wave looks pretty innocently perfect. I'm six feet tall and you can see my head and my feet...it was huge! Eddie Aikau would have gone, we paddled over it and waited for something slightly more managable. What a day!

Bernadette and I are still reeling from the news -- Don was a lifelong friend and the reason we got together and ended up married with two boys and their beautiful brides. I knew Don through many different phases of life and he was always growing and caring about life and the other people in it. He was curious and incredibly sweet and gentle in his later years but strong also, a real model for what a man ought to be. Our thoughts go to his family and Missy especially, who we heard direct from Don was "a rock." We would very much like to come back to New York for a celebration of his life and perhaps the scattering of ashes at Threes. We are in San Diego with Jeff but ready with a little notice to be there in New York and see all of his many friends and family members. Threes was my favorite New York surfing spot also -- too bad it ended up like in the Joni Mitchell song -- "paved paradise and put in a parking lot." I think the last time I surfed there was the day after the hurricane of 1985 -- it was REALLY BIG and I am sure Don would have gone for the drops if he was there. This may sound silly but I will always remember Don taking off behind the peak at Fly's and making the tube and the wave and enjoying the hell out of it. We have some pictures of Don and Missy during our Hawaii Five-O surf trip (the year Jeff turned 50) on a different computer and we will post those when we get back home from our boat. Love to all of you who cared so much for this great man. Bernadette and Stuart Strachan

Some more photos: from the Bahamas, North Fork and FL...

Here's a recent photo of Don, we miss him so. He was such a special man, how lucky to have him in our lives for as long as we did. Lovely words here from everyone. RIP, dear brother. R+b

Don fought so hard and he never gave up with this battle of this disease. We didn't get to see him much, as we live in Ohio. But when visiting my sister Betty, and Randy, he always came over to see us. We had some real good times when he visited, and when we went out to dinner he came along a few times with all of us. Don was such a caring and gentle man, and we are so sorry that he has passed. He was always there to give a helping hand. We have been reading the blogs that have been written, and it gives us smiles to see all the wonderful memories you had with him. Found this poem and thought it reminded me of Don. "" You will embark on a fair sea,and at times there will be fair weather, but not always.You will meet storms and overcome them.You will take it in turns to steer your boat through fair weather and foul. Never lose courage.Save harbour awaits you...in the end. """

I woke up this morning and he wasn't here. And I miss him so much.

The loss is too much for words. We talked by phone just last week and hope was up, so I'm a bit devastated by the news. I can remember the day 50 years ago this summer I met Don on the beach in front of MYC and we've been best friends ever since. He was like a twin brother to me as we grew up together and I couldn't imagine a more loyal and dependable lifelong friend. He was there to share every important moment in my life. 

It's hard to accept that I can't just pick up the phone and hear his voice and look forward to our next adventure. I have 50 years of memories that right now make me sad they've been cut short, but eventually will make me glad to have had him as my closest friend.  

I'd like to share an old photo from childhood that I found a couple of years ago on a home movie. It expresses that irrepressible joy and spirit of life our good friend and brother shared with us. Maybe there's a good way to share more by posting them online...

Best to all.

michael@harrington.com

We were on the bay this morning and I felt Don there, it was grey and windy and a lite rain, sounds funny but we were heading into Dougs creek and I just had a sense that he was watching.  I was really thinking about Johnny bringing the boat in but all of a sudden I thought of Donald and smiled.  I think he traveled past.  So sorry for our loss.  

Love John

jesurvey@optonline.net

We had an epic south swell hit the pacific coast from the Cook Islands this weekend.  Stu Strachan and I got together for it.  Together we called Don's cell yesterday, because it would have been so perfect and natural if he was there with us.  I think he was. 

 

They say you usually don't think when you're on a wave, but on at least one wave of the day, I thought of Don, and said to myself, "This one's for you, Big Man".  I've been doing that for months, it's become a habit.  I think I'll keep doing it.

 

Peace.

jsinnott@ultrasigns.com